A battle of epic proportions is currently under way here in Oly-ville, and I plan to do anything I can to win it. Even if it means getting dirty. Which is precisely what this whole war thing is about. Well, not about getting dirty, but rather getting clean.
You see, I am a dirty runner dog. I get dirty. I like to get dirty. I have to get me some dirty, and I get dirty any chance that I get. Sheesh, it clearly states in my URL that I am a dirty runner dog. He must not read this.
So whats the problem?
Where does the conflict come in?
Right here my friends!
See, lately my "pacer" has taken to combing me after I get my dirty on. It's somewhat more convenient (for him) than taking a bath or a shower after every run, but I for one am not too fond of it.
And I'm not going to take this laying down!!!
A hells to the NO I say, I'm fighting back, I mean it's a freaking horse brush for God's sake! Do I look like a horse? Okay, don't answer that question.
Since there seems to be no end in sight of this protocol, I must take matters into my own paws. And just like everything else I do, it's gonna get dirty! That's right, I'm gonna fight dirty. Whats the number one rule in fight club? Wrong. Number one rule in fight club is... Fight dirty!
(Insert evil laugh here) Bwhahahaha!
So how do I defend myself you ask?
See my "pacers" toes?
Gnarly looken huh? And I hear they are pretty sore too. Wink, wink. ;)
"Pacer" bruised them up pretty good at PsychoWyco on some rocks or roots or something. Anywho, so what I've been doing is... Every time he comes at me with that brush now, I do these wicked spin moves. Imagine one of those bucking bull things. I spin left, I spin right, I spin left again, for as long as it takes for him to give in. The best part is (and here is the dirty), every time I spin I STOMP on his toes.
Dude is reduced to crying like an itty bitty baby.
Uhhhg, what a wimp. Hahahaha!
I must be winning this war cause after today's run, "pacer" told me to go take a swim in the lake to clean off. Hopefully the lake stays clear of the ice for a while, otherwise I may have to resort to other methods of avoiding the brush.
Ohhh yeah, I gots a plan B. Just between you and me (keep it on the DL), I got some intel that one of pacers new shirts makes his nipples sore.
I might have to tweak him!